John (jeckoid) wrote in hothothot_topic,

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What's your name? Or shall I just call you Pissface?
Jackers McParpalot

Gender? (it will be embarassing if the photos don't tell)



Location? (please don't try to get witty with this and just tell us where you really live)
Belfast, Northern Ireland

Sexuality? (trust me it's a basic)

Why are you applying?
You're forcing me to.

Tell me your style:
Sleek, sexy & attention grabbing. Actually it's more "trailed through a hedge backwards." I hear it's in this season.

Do you think you're attractive? Why (not)?
I don't scrub up too badly when I put the effort in. Which is rarely, but still, that's not the point. There are people who are much more tragic than myself.

Do you think other people think you're attractive? Why (not)?
Sorry, I can't quite recall the last time I stopped someone in the street and asked if they'd consider fucking my brains out. However I'm sure they do due my charm and cutting wit.

Will I think you're attractive? Why (not)?
Yes because I'm fabulous.

How important are the opinions of others on your looks to you?
Everyone likes acceptance and while their opinions bother me at times, I've literally just come to the conclusion that I really must not care that much seeing as I'm quite fond of wandering about looking like shit.

What do you consider your best feature?
My hair is fabulous. Although other people often comment on my eyes. You decide </bigbrother>

What do you consider your worst feature?
My lack of vagina.

Five words to sum yourself up
1. Lazy
2. Apathetic
3. Hilar
4. Dim
5. Gay

Five insults you've recieved
1. Gay
2. Faggot
3. Queer
4. Poofcake
5. Fruitcake
All of which came from our lovely Mod, beauty_blinds.

Are you a cunt?
No, I'm the only nice person I know.

Do you have one?
Ew, vag juice.

Are you passive or assertive?

Do you know the meaning of tact?
Yes, I could be a diplomat.

Do you tell people what's on your mind?
Sometimes. I usually hold it in for a little bit and then randomly go off on one over something small.

Turn ons?

Turn offs?

Who is the most important person in your life? Why?
Fred, he means the world to me. If it wasn't for him I don't know what I would have done during the Fanta Pubes saga.

Tell me about one time when you were really frickin' pleased with yourself.
This one time I tied my hair back... by myself.

Tell me about one time you fucked up.
In a land, far, far away (Queens University) a group of friends sat smoking joints. Suddenly disaster struck - the last joint had been smoked! What would our brave joint smokers do? I took it upon myself to bring peace back to the land of Classaronia by embarking on a dangerous journey to the kitchen where I was sure to find supplies. Once I reached my destination I was confused to find the place in deadly silence. There was surely a sinister force at work. A strange figure stood staring at me. I immediately disregarded him as he obviously didn't have joints, I turned my attention to the inhabitints of the kitchen and bellowed in their native language - "Who among you is the carrier of the smoking material?"
So yeah the random guy was the warden and everyone had been sitting convincing him they knew nothing about joints and then I wandered in asking for one. Needless to say that didn't end well.

Are you a slut?
I wish.

You have an entire free weekend. What do you do?
Drink copious amounts of vodka and then jump on the train to Funville.

Do you think you'll ever get married?

Trust the dykes, like. No one takes feminism seriously anyway, so let them blabber on about whatever it is feminists talk about.

It's hilarious.

It's also quite humorous, even more so when it's not directed at me.

Organised religion?
It creates various Holiday's which results in time for me to sleep/get drunk. So yes, go religion!

Country music?
Everyone likes a little Dolly Parton now and then. Although overall the genre can be somewhat distressing.

This application?
It's a piece of shit and incase you haven't already guessed I didn't take it seriously.

Your father had been bitten by a snake in his male bits and pieces. You're miles and miles away from a hospital and he could die. Would you suck the poison out?
Ew, probably. NO GAY JOKES KTHNX.

What the fuck would you do if Courtney Love attacked you in a dark alley with a flash light and a glass bottle?
Get my wang out for her, she'd stick the lips on it almost immediately cause... well, it's Courtney. Which would result in a distinct lack of flash light and bottle violence.

You could choose one super hero power. What would you choose?
I really want to Orb. I wouldn't ever have to move again. BIGFATJOINT.

You can bring one dead person back to life. Who?
Joe Strummer, can you imagine the punk rock credibility I'd get for doing that?

Rich or famous?

Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?
Fuck yeah it does.

Favourite bands/artists?
All Indie Hardcore bands.

What's your damage?
I don't recall ringing that company.

Have you got side tracked and started touching yourself while watching internet porn during this application?
Yes actually.

Are you bored now?
Very, but I know that fucking song title game is coming up.

Think we're done?
Bisexuals are never done.

Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles:

The Distillers

1. Are you male or female? Young Girl
2. Describe yourself. Desperate
3. How do some people feel about you? Sick Of It All
4. How do you feel about yourself? Dismantle Me
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest Beat Your Heart Out
6. Where would you rather be? Cincinnati
7. Describe what you want to be. Colossus USA
8. Describe how you live. Solvent
9. Describe how you love. Open Sky
10. Share a few words of wisdom. Ask The Angels



No, I don't have a problem with hard drugs, but thank you for your concern.

Yes I know you want it, but it's mine.
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